Just when you thought you were free and clear of reading anymore of my opinionated, passionate and sometimes even a little uneducated blog posts...I go and write another one!
Unfortunately, it is with great heartache and sorrow that I open this phase with the news of Peppers passing. On April 1st 2011 I said goodbye to my long time friend, travel companion and for lack of a better word...son. To those of you, who had expressed doubts about taking a dog on a trip such as the Kindness Tour, please be assured one thing had nothing to do with the other. I of course have my moments of “what if’s” but then again, who wouldn’t? The outcome would have been the same and I for one am so very grateful to have spent as much time with him as I had. Not many people can say they spend almost every waking moment with their kids. I am fairly certain in his younger years we did spend every moment together, as most nights I would wake up to a spotted head resting on the pillow next to me. You have no idea how hard it is to kick a dog off your bed when they have figured out how to smile and laugh. Yes that’s right...smile and laugh! Both of which Pepper had down to a science. I will forever hold a place inside my heart for all my kids, never to be filled or replaced. I know as time goes on I will learn to remember the good times and not focus so much on how much I miss them. I do however assure you that there will always be a void and a longing to see them again and no amount of time passed, will ever take that away.
Thus begins Phase Two. As I had mentioned several times in my blog posts throughout my travels, the kindness tour was just the beginning. My plans to use it as a sort of sociological experiment are still in the works. I have been accepted into film school in Vancouver; unfortunately now have to wait for the Government to make a decision on whether or not they feel like aiding in my financial situation while I attempt to broaden my horizons. Film is where I want to be and film is where I know I can make a difference.
Deep down we all know what we want to do, it just takes some of use longer to figure it out. Then again, some of us have always known, we just need that little break or a helping hand to let us know whatever it is, it’s always there for the taking. A wise woman once told me, “If you want something bad enough, you will get it.” I tend to disagree with this statement lol only because I believe that things happen for a reason. In this I would also have to believe that certain things ‘don’t’ happen for a reason. If it isn’t meant to be, no matter how hard I fight for it and how much I want it, it was never mine to have in the first place. Of course as stubborn as I am, most of the time when I want something I will stop at nothing until I get it, regardless of how hard I have to work. Of course once I do get it, I don’t want it anymore J hmmm note to self...”see a therapist”
You may be wondering why I chose now of all times to start the next stage in my blogging. Don’t worry; I was wondering the same thing. I have had a few people ask about it over the past few weeks and just sort of figured...why not. I don’t really know yet what form I want this phase to take, or what I want to discuss over the next little while but I am sure with input from my awesome friends, situations that may arise in my everyday life and of course those crazy, insightful yet cryptic dreams I have been having over the last few months, something will come up.
So there you have it, the continuation of...something!
Let’s just call it what it is right now. That line up or ‘Q’ if you will; that people stand in simply because there is one to stand in. Reading this blog probably won’t change your life, but writing it sure has changed mine. Like I said before, this is just the spark needed to start the wildfire. I can still feel it in my soul that one day soon, this will all lead to something great! Even if it is just that stranger on the street who bumps into me and says...”hey, aren’t’ you that blogger who writes all that random stuff about absolutely nothing with no knowledge of how to properly structure a sentence or punctuate a paragraph”? ;-)
